Did anyone ever watch that show Instant Star? It was on The N years ago, back when people actually watched The N and Drake was what's his face on Degrassi... Jimmy I think. I wonder if that channel still even exists. Regardless, Instant Star popped up on Netflix and I couldn't help but watch it again. Now I have the song "Waste My Time," stuck in my head.
I wish I had some time to waste. Fortunately, Netflix only has two seasons of Instant Star. I'm taking a four-week Organic Chem II course and I'm beginning to realize Organic Chemistry should not be able to fit into four weeks. It's unbelievable how much time I have to devote to this class--two hours of lecture five days a week, then six-eight hours of studying everyday. Somehow, at one point I thought this was a good idea!
It's not all bad, though. There is some benefit to taking this course. Forcing myself to study everyday has really gotten me into a good habit. However, I had a slow start, so I will be really digging in this weekend, rather than going home like originally planned. I better do well because now I'm going to miss the church picnic, father's day, and grandpa 90th birthday.
Oh well, T-minus eighteen days until I leave for my month long research internship in Switzerland.... get it! I really have to figure out what I want to do while I'm over there. Obviously, I have to visit Stéphanie, Chloé, and Pierre in Brussels. If I'm up that far, maybe I can hop on over to Amsterdam?! Or go southbound down to Italy... Milan, Verona, Roma. Of course, I guess I actually have to work and do my internship so yeah. We'll figure it out.
Well it's late and I got work in the morning. Lata playa.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Time (By Pink Floyd)
How appropriate... "Time." I was just thinking about how it's been such a long "time" since I looked at my blog and this song came on on my ipod. I guess, thus far this blog has been a complete failure since the only post I ever published was the introduction, almost a year ago. I actually did write a few posts after "Genesis," but I didn't feel they were adequate enough to share. A lot has changed since then...
Time. Things change with time. My dad once said the only things ensured in life are death and taxes. Wise man. I think we can add 'change' to the list of inevitability that life brings us.
I personally have a love-hate relationship with change, which I'm sure most can identify with. I hate when something is going good and changes, but I love when things change for the better.
Lately, I think things have been changing for the better. Without a doubt, this has been a big year of change for me, even up through the past month. I'm beginning to find a new confidence, a new voice that I wish I had found years ago. It might not be noticeable because I've always given off the impression of self-confidence, but I have something now that I know wasn't there before. For the first time, I'm starting to stand up for Spencer and think more about my needs before others. I know that sounds horrible. I'm praising becoming more selfish, but yes, actually I am.
I am inherently a nice person. I can't help but find satisfaction from helping people. Seeing others happy, makes me happy; if only more people felt that way. But, sometimes I need to be the happy person, as in sometimes I need to say no, rather than go out of my way to address someone else's needs. And I'm becoming ok with that.
I'm becoming ok with saying no to a couple things, even when it makes me 'uncool.' A year ago, I never would've turned down a drink at a party. I originally started drinking because I wanted people to think I'm cool. I actually turned out to be a pretty good drinker too. You can be good at drinking, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I never liked that about myself, though--one that I drank and two that I sought approval from people I didn't even know.
I don't care anymore though. That's part of why I have no problem posting on this blog now. That is why I'm happily sober right now. I'm tired of worrying about what other people think. That's not to say I won't still worry. Let's be real. Actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to be real. I'm going to be me. Take it or leave it.
You gotta be yourself and let people get to know the real you. It's the only way to tell who you want to be around and who you don't. If you don't feel comfortable being yourself around your "friends," then maybe they aren't the right people to be around. Either way, something there has to change, or else you're headed down a pretty sad and lonely path. It kinda sucks when you feel like the people closest to you don't get you, but how can they if they don't know you?
So now I wonder, of the people that life will throw my way, who will stick around? #CHEESY-ENDING-ALERT: I guess only time will tell!
P.S.- As this is my first content-filled post, I'd love to hear some feedback
Time. Things change with time. My dad once said the only things ensured in life are death and taxes. Wise man. I think we can add 'change' to the list of inevitability that life brings us.
I personally have a love-hate relationship with change, which I'm sure most can identify with. I hate when something is going good and changes, but I love when things change for the better.
Lately, I think things have been changing for the better. Without a doubt, this has been a big year of change for me, even up through the past month. I'm beginning to find a new confidence, a new voice that I wish I had found years ago. It might not be noticeable because I've always given off the impression of self-confidence, but I have something now that I know wasn't there before. For the first time, I'm starting to stand up for Spencer and think more about my needs before others. I know that sounds horrible. I'm praising becoming more selfish, but yes, actually I am.
I am inherently a nice person. I can't help but find satisfaction from helping people. Seeing others happy, makes me happy; if only more people felt that way. But, sometimes I need to be the happy person, as in sometimes I need to say no, rather than go out of my way to address someone else's needs. And I'm becoming ok with that.
I'm becoming ok with saying no to a couple things, even when it makes me 'uncool.' A year ago, I never would've turned down a drink at a party. I originally started drinking because I wanted people to think I'm cool. I actually turned out to be a pretty good drinker too. You can be good at drinking, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I never liked that about myself, though--one that I drank and two that I sought approval from people I didn't even know.
I don't care anymore though. That's part of why I have no problem posting on this blog now. That is why I'm happily sober right now. I'm tired of worrying about what other people think. That's not to say I won't still worry. Let's be real. Actually, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'm going to be real. I'm going to be me. Take it or leave it.
You gotta be yourself and let people get to know the real you. It's the only way to tell who you want to be around and who you don't. If you don't feel comfortable being yourself around your "friends," then maybe they aren't the right people to be around. Either way, something there has to change, or else you're headed down a pretty sad and lonely path. It kinda sucks when you feel like the people closest to you don't get you, but how can they if they don't know you?
So now I wonder, of the people that life will throw my way, who will stick around? #CHEESY-ENDING-ALERT: I guess only time will tell!
P.S.- As this is my first content-filled post, I'd love to hear some feedback
P.P.S.- Also, I highly encourage you to refer back to my first post if you get the chance. It puts things into context and judging by the fact that I have no followers as of yet, you probably haven't already read it, so yeah, do that!
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